I Craved for Love in People, Places and Things

I always seem to have a smile on my face don’t I? Like I have it all together. Some days are better then others, and most days are great! I seek comfort in people, because they make me smile and laugh. I seek places that are entertaining because it gets me out of my rut of boredom, and I look for things because it fills my home with newness and spontaneity. All three of these things have only brought me temporary happiness.

After the death of my husband, life started to slowly get back to normal. I was taking it one day at a time. Everywhere I looked and the things I did would remind me of him on a daily basis, to the point where I remodeled a majority of my home so things would be new and fresh instead of all those memories we shared together in our home. I took several trips to escape with the girls and that was good in the beginning but it eventually became dull every time I would return home and start my daily routines. The music, clothes and certain foods and scents all brought the memories back. It wasn’t that I wanted to forget my husbands memory, but I missed his presence! It was too much to handle. It was a constant struggle. I decided I would go out and mingle and meet people, well that was fun in the beginning too, until that no longer satisfied me either. I then decided to pour all of me into my business, health and family. It worked! I kept my body and mind busy….I started to see the change in my attitude and body. I had a reason to get up every morning feeling happy and grateful.

The things that have filled me up the most have been family & God through prayer, meditation and selfless actions. My intentions are well but I always seem to strive for perfection. I am all but perfect! For those who know me, know that I can be a handful and unpredictable at times. I can also be your best friend who will except and love you unconditionally. I am a motivator and like to lift people up because we all have so much potential, light and love to give. I still have a long way to go with my soul searching but I do know that I will continue striving to be the best version of myself. I will never stop. The hand that has created me has never let go, he is still here guiding and I trust him with every fiber of my being.