How To Stop Being Selfish With Your Time & Listen To Your Children
Here are my thoughts and principles of what I have learned through the years, and still learning! How to stop being selfish with your time & listen to your children. I grew up an only child and had all my parents attention, love and devotion. Yes, I was spoiled, but felt alone most of the time. Although I am glad I had more then one child, it takes alot of my time to attend to their every need. Especially now, because they are home schooled and I’m working on new projects.
Listen To Your Children
It’s so important to take the time to listen to our children. They want us to listen to them and not be ignored. When my children want my attention as I’m working, I now stop what I’m doing and look them in the eyes and listen. I used to tell them “not now sweetie, I’m in the middle of something important.” They would just get louder and come to me more because I didn’t listen the first time!
They would say, “Your always busy and have something important to do!” When I genuinely listen and pay attention to their requests or story, I see them smile more and show happiness.
Your Children’s Words Matter
Just because we are the parent and we take care of our children doesn’t mean that our kids can’t have an opinion. They want us to actively listen and show empathy that their opinions matter. If they come to us with something, we need to have an open mind and let them know their voice was heard and then we can offer them advice.
If we cut them off and start lecturing, they will not confide in us and come to us with more important matters. This will also set a reminder for us to stop being so selfish with our time and listen to our children.
Withdrawing & Non Verbal Communication
Look for these signs when you see your teen/tween withdrawal from the rest of the family members in the household.
- They stay in their rooms more often then not with the door shut and sometimes locked.
- Avoid activities they once used to like.
- They get agitated and moody and or easily angered for no reason.
- Their eating habits change, eating more sweets!
- Complain is their middle name
Let Them Be Themselves
I allow my girls to be themselves. I give them their space to learn and grow from their experiences. They know their are consequences to their actions and hopefully they will not want to go through the same consequence again! I’m not a very strict parent but their are borders.
For example, if their room or bathroom are not cleaned I wait until they can no longer tolerate it, instead of nagging at them to clean their room. I’m actually pretty easy going! I also have an award point system up on our fridge. They get points when they help with the chores and at the end of the week they get an allowance and their grades have to be at least all A’s, and a B or two. So you see, our children are what we make of them. Set a good example, learn from your mistakes and love them unconditionally.
My Top 8 Secrets Of Getting People To Like You
It’s really simple and not rocket science to get people to genuinely like you for who you are. In this post, I will share my top 8 secrets of what it takes to get people to like you. Here are the techniques I use when I meet someone for the first time and therefore after. In no particular order:
- I smile and give them my full undivided attention, I let them speak about themselves first, unless I am asked about my interests. You see, people like talking about themselves and if you just listen wholeheartedly, this will enable them to feel good about themselves and you were the person to listen without interruption.
- When speaking to someone, say their name and look them straight in the eyes and genuinely mean what you are saying with conviction. Don’t look around or get distracted. This will make it seem like you are fake and not meaning what you are saying or disinterested in their company.
- Also, when speaking and starting a conversation I have a tendency of smiling as I speak. This gives the other person self-worth because they feel your enjoying their company.
- Ask them questions about themselves-be inquisitive (curious) This will let them talk more about themselves and their interests. I tend to be an inquisitive person when meeting someone for the first time.
- Find something you like about them physically or mentally and then give a nice compliment and mean it. Be lavish in your praise.
- Try to add value to them in any way you can. It could be by giving them some advice or lending a helping hand with something OR even buying them lunch or dinner. Be generous.
- Be kind and respectful, let them lead the way. When they want to be in charge, let them be the leader.
- Leave them better then when you met them. They will remember how you made them feel. This is very important. We all want to be accepted and appreciated and when we can lift one another up and do it with love….that surpasses them all!
I hope you got value out of my top 8 secrets of getting people to like you. After a while, you will learn to do these naturally. It is when you act upon it with love and expect nothing in return, is when you will attract people to you. Pure love.
