How To Stop Being Selfish With Your Time & Listen To Your Children
Here are my thoughts and principles of what I have learned through the years, and still learning! How to stop being selfish with your time & listen to your children. I grew up an only child and had all my parents attention, love and devotion. Yes, I was spoiled, but felt alone most of the time. Although I am glad I had more then one child, it takes alot of my time to attend to their every need. Especially now, because they are home schooled and I’m working on new projects.
Listen To Your Children
It’s so important to take the time to listen to our children. They want us to listen to them and not be ignored. When my children want my attention as I’m working, I now stop what I’m doing and look them in the eyes and listen. I used to tell them “not now sweetie, I’m in the middle of something important.” They would just get louder and come to me more because I didn’t listen the first time!
They would say, “Your always busy and have something important to do!” When I genuinely listen and pay attention to their requests or story, I see them smile more and show happiness.
Your Children’s Words Matter
Just because we are the parent and we take care of our children doesn’t mean that our kids can’t have an opinion. They want us to actively listen and show empathy that their opinions matter. If they come to us with something, we need to have an open mind and let them know their voice was heard and then we can offer them advice.
If we cut them off and start lecturing, they will not confide in us and come to us with more important matters. This will also set a reminder for us to stop being so selfish with our time and listen to our children.
Withdrawing & Non Verbal Communication
Look for these signs when you see your teen/tween withdrawal from the rest of the family members in the household.
- They stay in their rooms more often then not with the door shut and sometimes locked.
- Avoid activities they once used to like.
- They get agitated and moody and or easily angered for no reason.
- Their eating habits change, eating more sweets!
- Complain is their middle name
Let Them Be Themselves
I allow my girls to be themselves. I give them their space to learn and grow from their experiences. They know their are consequences to their actions and hopefully they will not want to go through the same consequence again! I’m not a very strict parent but their are borders.
For example, if their room or bathroom are not cleaned I wait until they can no longer tolerate it, instead of nagging at them to clean their room. I’m actually pretty easy going! I also have an award point system up on our fridge. They get points when they help with the chores and at the end of the week they get an allowance and their grades have to be at least all A’s, and a B or two. So you see, our children are what we make of them. Set a good example, learn from your mistakes and love them unconditionally.
How To Overcome Fear and Get What You Want
How to overcome fear and get what you want. As I was thinking about this past year and how crazy it has all been, German philosopher, Friedrich Nietzsche popped up in my feed and reminded me of something “That which does not kill us, makes us stronger.” There had been so much fear in the beginning of 2020. I had just lost my job and was struggling to get unemployment. It was battle after battle and I almost gave up. It wasn’t until I truly decided that their has to be a better way….and a better way their was!
Punch fear in the face & form new habits
A dramatic shift took place and my outlook on life was fresh and brand new. There was nobody that could change my situation, except for me. I took control and became a warrior! My sorrow became strength and I started improving myself on all levels. I no longer leaned on my own understanding, but instead got on my knees and began asking my higher power-God, to please help me. With each passing day, I continued to do this and the days got bigger and brighter. The fear was gone.
I formed new habits and had a strong urge to learn and gain knowledge. The internet and books were my best friends. I focused on the things that brought me joy. Peace came into my home, and I felt like I could conquer anything that came my way. Even the kind of music I loved listening to changed. Suddenly, I found myself listening to classical and tropical cafe music. My family probably thought I was losing it, but in a good way. My parents definitely saw the change in me, and I saw the change in them myself, because they were no longer worrying for me.
The Internet and books were my best friends. Have positive vibes & challenge yourself -overcome fear
As I dove into learning on a daily basis, my confidence level went through the roof. hahaha. I really felt like I could do anything. The secret was to just have faith in myself and trust the process. You can do whatever you set your mind to and guess what, it worked. The more I read everyday I learned new skills such as SEO, (search engine optimization) HTML, metatags, strategies and tips to rank your site high. Their was a sense of accomplishment and my mindset became stronger. Our brains are a muscle and when we work them out, they become stronger. Everything was going well for me and it all fell into place, because of my faith. Overcome fear!
Be of service to others
With all this positive flow going on, I told myself “I want to inspire people to overcome their battles and demons too” because this is what helped me. How can I do this? It started with ideas then moved on to many late nights listening to tutorials and watching webinars and doing online challenges with some amazing people, which I call my mentors. A momentum started building up and kept on going and it hasn’t stopped. I got rid of all the people on my social media who were not building me up and kept the ones who added value to me.
You are stronger then you think
This is just the beginning of the journey and it’s getting better everyday. A big secret is to just let go of the past and accept the new. Start trusting what lies ahead of you and have faith that God is leading and taking you where you need to go. Don’t be afraid to punch fear in the face, because fear is not our friend. What we endure in the past can only lead us to be stronger for the future. The pain and suffering we experience is meant to strengthen us and prepare us for a higher level. So, Don’t you dare give up on me my friend. We need you more then you know.
