Here are my thoughts and principles of what I have learned through the years, and still learning! How to stop being selfish with your time & listen to your children. I grew up an only child and had all my parents attention, love and devotion. Yes, I was spoiled, but felt alone most of the time. Although I am glad I had more then one child, it takes alot of my time to attend to their every need. Especially now, because they are home schooled and I’m working on new projects.

Listen To Your Children

It’s so important to take the time to listen to our children. They want us to listen to them and not be ignored. When my children want my attention as I’m working, I now stop what I’m doing and look them in the eyes and listen. I used to tell them “not now sweetie, I’m in the middle of something important.” They would just get louder and come to me more because I didn’t listen the first time!

They would say, “Your always busy and have something important to do!” When I genuinely listen and pay attention to their requests or story, I see them smile more and show happiness.

Your Children’s Words Matter

Just because we are the parent and we take care of our children doesn’t mean that our kids can’t have an opinion. They want us to actively listen and show empathy that their opinions matter. If they come to us with something, we need to have an open mind and let them know their voice was heard and then we can offer them advice.

If we cut them off and start lecturing, they will not confide in us and come to us with more important matters. This will also set a reminder for us to stop being so selfish with our time and listen to our children.

Withdrawing & Non Verbal Communication

Look for these signs when you see your teen/tween withdrawal from the rest of the family members in the household.

1. They stay in their rooms more often then not with the door shut and sometimes locked.
2. Avoid activities they once used to like.
3. They get agitated and moody and or easily angered for no reason.
4. Their eating habits change, eating more sweets!
5. Complain is their middle name

Let Them Be Themselves

I allow my girls to be themselves. I give them their space to learn and grow from their experiences. They know their are consequences to their actions and hopefully they will not want to go through the same consequence again! I’m not a very strict parent but their are borders.

For example, if their room or bathroom are not cleaned I wait until they can no longer tolerate it, instead of nagging at them to clean their room. I’m actually pretty easy going! I also have an award point system up on our fridge. They get points when they help with the chores and at the end of the week they get an allowance and their grades have to be at least all A’s, and a B or two. So you see, our children are what we make of them. Set a good example, learn from your mistakes and love them unconditionally.